Ten Snowmobiling Tips for Girlfriends

So, you've always had a burning desire to hop on a snowmobile, and explore Winter Wonderland by zipping tight corners on trails, and experiencing the thrill of speed on wide open lakes?

Or, your boyfriend or husband has talked you into going with him, and you are not sure what in the world you are getting into?

My husband, me & my father-in-law

In either case, here are my Top Ten Snowmobiling Tips, Girlfriend to Girlfriend. Men, some of this might be "Too Much Information" for you, proceed at your own risk. However, you should give your girlfriend/wife a copy of this so there are no girlie emergencies on the trail. Ready?

Before we even get our winter gear on, let's make sure the basics are taken care of.

1. Underwear. You will want to dig deep in your underwear drawer for the wedgie-proof granny style undies you have down deep in your drawer. The cover-all-cotton-panties you usually hide (or if you are a busy mother of many children, just wear your usual comfy pair you already have on). The key here is comfort. Riding on a snowmobile sometimes for hours will not be a time for ittybitty lacy wonders.

2. Bra. Find your most supportive sports bra you own, and wear it. Even if you don't have dollypartons to fill your bra, you will need the support. Cami is not enough, especially on bumpy trails, and the chances are, there will be bumpy trails (girls, can you get the visual here?). Last time I forgot this rule, wore a fairly supportive camisole, and ouch - not enough.

3. Make-up. Your basic make-up is ok to wear, but don't bother with mascara, unless it's waterproof. Raccoon eyes, anyone? I wouldn't bother with lipstick either, you might end up smearing it on your helmet putting it on and off. Make sure to bring chapstick.

4. Hair. Curling, straightening or styling your hair is waste of time before snowmobiling. You'll need want to do it afterward. Helmet hair is what every snowmobiler gets, and if you don't, please let me know your secret. If you have long hair, I find braids work best. You'll want to pin your hair out of your face or it might go in your eyes during snowmobiling. (A pain.)

Michelin Man look, shared by all

Now, let's get geared up. If you are going snowmobiling, the chances are, it's cold outside. You will need to bundle up. Lots. Layers are good, you can always add or take off some, if necessary. Even if you are a size 0 model, you will resemble Michelin Man by the time you are ready to head out, but trust me, you will want to stay warm, or you'll be miserable. And miraculously after snowmobiling when you take all your gear off, it will look like you lost 50 lbs - how fabulous!

5. Snow Pants. Snow pants deserve a point of their own. You will basically have two options: overall style, or regular pants style. Your man might tell you to choose the overall style for extra warmth, but Do Not Agree. You will need the simple type that can be taken off without taking your jacket off. There is a reason for that. See point number 7.

6. Balaclava. I almost wrote baklava (which you could take too, as a snack, lol). This is your thin helmet hat or a ski mask to wear under your helmet. I have not seen an attractive looking one yet, but in bitter cold you'll want it on. It will protect your neck from the cold, but also prevent your nose from turning red from the wind and the freezing temperatures. Of course, if you wear one too small, it will leave nice lines on your skin where the balaclava openings were. (If you are in your twenties, those lines will disappear maybe in 10 minutes. If you are older, they can stay there for hours. So lovely.)

7. Bathroom Business. At best, you'll have restaurant bathrooms or port-a-potties to use. At worst, you'll have port-a-potties or snowbanks to use. Bring toilet paper and a zip-lock bag in your pocket for the snowbank visits. When having to use a snowbank in single digit temperatures, you'll want to have the snow pants that can be pulled down easily, not the type you first have to take your jacket off in order to pull down your pants. Brrr....!!!

8. Check your monthly calendar before going snowmobiling, so you can be prepared. There's not much you can do in the woods if you all the sudden realize it's That Time of the Month. However, if you listened to my advice on #5 and wore big bulky snow gear with many layers, you might make it home before anyone else realizes what is going on.

9. Bring your iPhone. Most likely you will not have any cell phone coverage, but at least you can take pictures or video of any interesting sights like beautiful scenery, a moose on the trail, or someone getting stuck or unstuck in soft snow or flowing river. (Wink.) If you are lucky enough to get coverage, you can actually post these things on Facebook immediately, or call for help, or find your location on maps (in case your man isn't asking for directions).

10. Chocolate. Do I need to say anything else? With chocolate you can survive just about anything. Especially a long snowmobile trip with your man.

And the last essential is bringing good humor along, and a sense of adventure. Fun is to be had on trails, and if you encounter problems, you'll be well prepared, and can collect great blog story material for later. Or how do you think I came up for these Top Ten Tips?

Have fun, and enjoy the trails!